


A Crowded City With Faces the Same as Mine

by JetGirl1832, tomatopudding



Series: The Hamilton Family Album [46]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Family, Funerals, Gen, Making Up, Mentions of Death, Modern AU, St. Croix, You've been warned, the Scottish Hamilton's are super annoying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-30 08:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8525875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JetGirl1832/pseuds/JetGirl1832, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomatopudding/pseuds/tomatopudding
Summary: This was the last call Alex had ever thought that he'd receive, and now he's faced with a tough decision. To return to the place he hasn't called home in thirty years, to say goodbye to the father he'd scorned for years.





	1. Chapter 1

2011

Alex had just emerged from his study and began to follow the sound of the piano, knowing that Eliza was making dinner he knew it could only be one other person.   


  
The family grand piano sat between the three large windows of their living room at an angle that he could see the contented smile on his eldest daughter’s face as she played. While typically she played classical pieces every once in awhile Angel would play something to “appease the masses” as she put it. Today’s selection was a Beatles number of which she was quietly singing the words as she played, while Philip sat on the couch reading nearby.   


  
__ “The wild and windy night, that the rain, washed away   
Has left a pool of tears, crying for the day-”   


  
Alex walked towards her till he stood behind her and he began to sing with her.

  
  
“Many times I've been alone, and many times I've cried-”

  
  
When it came to carrying a tune Alex knew his voice was nowhere near as good as Eliza’s or Angie’s but he was far from tone deaf. Hearing her father’s voice Angie’s smile grew as she continued to play. There was some shuffling as Philip scooted his way onto the bench beside Angie and supplied his own vocal talents which were less than stellar causing Angie to laugh and miss a couple of notes.

  
  
“You ruined the moment,” Angie pouted.

  
  
“You’re just jealous because I can sing better than you,” Philip grinned.

  
  
“No you can’t.”

  
  
“Yes I can-”

  
  
“No-”   


  
“Alright you two you’re singing the wrong song now,” Alex chuckled bending over to kiss the tops of their heads.

  
"Alright time for dinner," Eliza appeared in the doorway.

  
  
Angie sighed but got up from her spot on the piano bench taking her older brother with her.

  
"AJ!" Eliza called, "Dinner!"   


  
"Bring your brothers!" added Alex. 

  
  
There was a vague sound of assent from AJ's room. 

  
  
"Can you get Lizzie?" Eliza asked. 

  
  
"Of course," Alex replied, giving his wife a peck on the cheek and heading down the hall to get the rest of their brood together.    
  


Unlike most families the Hamilton's tended to use their dining room quite frequently, this was mostly due to the fact that the way their house in DC was built it was tough squeezing even four, let alone nine people in there comfortably. So they all sat down in their unspoken assigned seating.   
  


Eliza was closest to the kitchen, of course, for ease of serving, with Alex across from her and the kids spread along the sides of the table. Lizzie was particular about who she allowed to cut her food for some reason so her seat tended to move depending on whose turn it was. Today she happened to want Alex so her high chair was by his side.

 

"So what's on the menu tonight Bets?" Alex asked as he placed Lizzie into her high chair.

  
  
"Tonight seemed a good night for tacos," Eliza replied, "and Jamie was a great help in our attempts of making them authentic."

  
  
Jamie blushed a little as he sat down in his seat.

 

It was a very do-it-yourself kind of meal. Eliza set out tortillas and all sorts of various toppings. While the older children managed to keep clean, William and Jack in particular had problems with keeping the food on their plates rather than on the floor. It was a good thing that Philip had had the foresight to close the dog in her cage otherwise she might have ended up quite sick with the amount of food scraps available to peruse. After all their sweet little Maggie wasn't known as the vacuum cleaner for nothing, the second anything hit the ground it was her property.

  
Alex was about to help himself to another tortilla when his phone began to buzz and he sighed. 

 

He frowned down at the screen, not recognizing the number. Alex answered the call and murmured a quick "just a moment" into his phone before carefully maneuvering himself out of his chair and past the still-chattering kids, laying a brief hand on Eliza's shoulders as he walked into the kitchen.    


  
"Hello?"   


  
There was a brief money of silence then a male voice came over the line. 

  
  
"Alexander Hamilton?"

  
  
Alex frowned again, "Yes that's me."

  
  
"It's James," the man said, pausing for a beat, "Your brother."

  
  
Alex's breath caught in his throat and he had to lean against the fridge. He hadn't spoken to his older brother in decades and it was a bit of a shock to hear his voice again after so long.

 

"J-James?" He stammered, for a moment there was silence, "I haven't, how did- why are you calling?"

 

"Alex..." James spoke up, "I'm calling because," he hesitated for a moment, "dad died."

  
  
Alex was very thankful that he was leaning against the fridge, he wasn't sure what would have happened if he hadn't been.

 

"Oh," he said, the word coming out as a breathy half sigh, "Okay."

  
  
"The funeral is next week," James told him, "And I know that you and dad were never really on the best terms..."

  
  
Alex held in a snort at that. Despite living under the same roof for ten years, he and had father had barely interacted before the man had taken off. 

  
  
"But you're named in his will," continued James, "and...hell I'd really like to see you again."

  
  
"I..." Alex sighed, "I need to think about it."

  
  
"That's fair," James agreed, "It's in Christiansted, I'll email you the details."

 

"Okay," Alex replied and the two of them exchanged e-mails.

  
  
"I hope to hear from you soon," James added before hanging up.

  
  
Alex inhaled deeply before going back out to join his family for dinner.

 

Eliza gave him a questioning glance and Alex shook his head slightly. Now was not the time, he would talk to her later. 

  
  
“Later” didn't come for a few more hours, after the dinner dishes were washed and put away and all the kids, except for the three oldest, ushered off to bed despite protests. It wasn't particularly late, but Alex had had a long few days so he and Eliza retreated back to their room to get ready for bed.    
  


 

He could hear the water running and looked to see his wife brushing her teeth as she she stood at the sink, her hair which had been up all day now hung loosely about her shoulders. There was always some kind of aura about Eliza that seemed to radiate a sense of calm.

 

Alex stripped down to his boxers, tossing his shirt in the hamper and his jeans over the chair in the corner before padding into the bathroom as well. Eliza moved slightly to give him space by the sink. They moved around each other with ease after so many years together. 

  
  
"So that phone call," Eliza prompted, removing the tooth brush from her mouth for a moment.

 

"What about that phone call?" Alex asked as he reached for his own toothbrush.

  
  
"That wasn't just a work call obviously," Eliza stated.

  
  
"It was my brother," Alex said around the toothbrush. 

  
  
Eliza stayed silent as she finished with her teeth and rinsed out her mouth. It felt like Alex had more to say and she wasn't going to interrupt him. Alex did indeed speak again, the toothbrush dangling from his lips. 

  
  
"My dad died. He invited me to the funeral."

  
  
Eliza paused for a brief moment before continuing to comb her hair, "Are you going to go?"   
  


Alex shrugged his shoulders, "It's in St. Croix."

  
  
"Alex," Eliza folded her arms across her chest, "that doesn't answer my question."

 

Alex spat toothpaste into the sink and carefully rinsed mouth and brush before putting the toothbrush back in its cup. He was avoiding the question intentionally and he knew that Eliza could tell. 

  
  
"I'm not sure if I want to," he answered finally, "My dad...well you know how he was. I've told you."

  
  
He gestured for her to turn around and began to carefully braid her hair for the night, something that had become part of their routine back when they had first started living together.    


  
"It's also my brother," Alex continued, his fingers moving deftly through Eliza's silky hair, "He abandoned me, Liza, I haven't seen him in thirty years and I really don't know if I want to."

 

"Well that's your choice to make," Eliza replied, "but I will say you should seriously think about it before making a decision."

  
  
"You can't choose for me?" Alex pouted finishing off her braid and kissing her neck.

  
  
"You've seen what happens when I do that for the kids," Eliza laughed gently pushing him away, “I really don't think you want me to choose."

 

Alex sighed and leaned against the bathroom counter, running a hand through his own hair. It was getting a bit too long, he mused, probably time for a little trim. 

  
  
"I love you," he said softly. 

  
  
The corners of Eliza's lips quirked up into a smile as she massaged moisturizer over her face. 

  
  
"Naturally," she teased lightly. 

  
  
They finished their preparations in easy silence and Alex was still loosening a knot in his hair when Eliza retreated to the bedroom. He couldn't help but watch her go, the fabric of her nightgown swishing around her knees as she walked.    


  
She was sitting up and reading when he finally finished and padded over to the bed. He briefly considered getting his own book, but the thought of trekking out to his office to retrieve his reading glasses was unappealing so he simply slid under the blanket and moved close, throwing an arm over her hips. He fell asleep to the feeling of her fingers running through his hair, his mind filled with thoughts of funerals and memories of St. Croix. 

 

\----------

 

It was so rare these days that the four of them had time to get together what with their busy schedules and disparate locations. Alex worked almost non stop either at the White House or in his home office. John's senatorial duties kept him equally in DC and South Carolina but even when he and Alex were in the same state neither had much time to waste. Back in New York City, Hercules was doing well with his tailoring and had several high profile clients. Lafayette was the most far-flung of them all, spending a majority of his time back in France although he made his way back to the States as often as his duties allowed. For all four of them to be in the same country at the same time, let alone the same state, was nothing short of a miracle. A miracle that they were going to take advantage of as much as possible. It was even more of a miracle that this moment of intersection occurred the day after Alex got the phone call from James and that they already had a night out planned. 

  
  
The bar they went to was well known to be discrete and to be thoroughly guarded against the media. Many political figures used it as a refuge and it wouldn't do for any of them to be photographed or quoted when they were compromised by good alcohol. 

  
  
Not as all surprisingly, all three of his friends were already at the bar when Alex arrived--he'd been caught up at work. 

  
  
"He arrives!" John announced grandly as Alex approached their table, lifting his pint of beer in toast, "Nice of you to join us, Mister Secretary."

  
  
Alex laughed, "Senator Laurens, how many drinks have you had already?"

  
  
John shrugged. 

  
  
"Don't let him fool you," Hercules said, rolling his eyes, "We've barely even started, he's just being dramatic."

  
  
"As always," added Lafayette, taking a sip of his martini, "Drink?"

  
  
Lafayette waved away Alex's protests and insisted on purchasing his scotch. 

  
  
"So Herc," John said once they all had their drinks in front of them, "you never said what you're doing all the way in DC. Not enough clients back in the City?"

  
  
"Hardly," said Hercules, "President Washington needs a new tuxedo for an upcoming event and offered to fly me over here to get some measurements. Who am I to say no to G-Wash?"

  
  
"Ah, he took my recommendation!" Lafayette put in happily, "I hoped he would. Partly for selfish reasons as I knew that the others of us who don't live here would be in DC this week."

 

"Laf you sly dog," John chuckled.

  
  
"And we all know Herc makes the best tuxes," Lafayette added.

  
  
"That's true," Alex nodded sagely.

 

"Oh stop, you're making me blush," Hercules dead-panned, but it was obvious that he was trying to hide a pleased grin behind his beer. 

  
  
"Look at us," Alex sighed, "We're all so grown up."

  
  
"Speak for yourself," laughed John, "Actually, no never mind. You're not really grown up either."

  
  
Alex rolled his eyes, "I do plenty of adult things, and need I remind you I'm married and seven kids-"

  
  
"The number of kids you have does not correlate with how adult you are," John teased.   


  
"Your face doesn't correlate with how adult you are," Alex returned with a grin. 

  
  
"A round of applause for that amazing comeback," laughed Lafayette, "Mon ami, you have outdone yourself."

  
  
"Oh man," Hercules said, shaking his head fondly, "I missed you guys."

 

"We need to do this more," Lafayette decided.

  
  
As his friends continued to chatter away, Alex found himself sinking into his own thoughts. 

  
  
"Hey."

  
  
Alex startled slightly at the touch of John's hand on his arm. The ice in his whiskey had melted leaving a watered down mess in his glass. Hercules and Lafayette were absent, but a quick look around showed that they were arguing good-naturedly over the jukebox in the corner. 

  
  
"You were miles away," John said, "What's going on in that big brain of yours?"

  
  
"My dear Laurens," Alex sighed, tracing a finger through the condensation on the outside of his glass, "I have a bit of a dilemma on my hands."

  
  
"Oh?" asked John, leaning closer.

 

"I got a hell of a phone call last night," Alex began, "it was my brother."

  
  
"Your brother?" John blinked.

 

"Did I ever tell you about him?" Alex asked, sighing slightly when John shook his head, "He's three years older than me. After our...after Mamí died, we were put in our cousin's custody and when he killed himself James and I were separated. No," he huffed and unamused laugh, "James left. I had just walked in on my cousin putting a bullet through his brain and my brother left."   
  


John sighed, "Alex I'm so-"

  
  
"Don't be," Alex cut him off, "anyway he called to tell me that my dad is dead and he wants me to come back for the funeral... In St. Croix."

 

"And you don't know if you want to go," John finished. 

  
  
Alex knocked his shoulder against John's companionably, "You always could read my mind."

  
  
John smiled and knocked back, "Only if I could keep up with it."

  
  
"You keep up just fine," assured Alex softly. 

  
  
"So this funeral," said John, "Why are you so mixed up about going?"

  
  
"Obviously I'm concerned about seeing my brother again," Alex replied, "but it's also...James Hamilton Sr was my dad only in the sense that I share his DNA. Not that he was abusive or anything, just a lot more absent than I would have liked."

  
  
"You haven't forgiven him for that," John said knowingly. 

  
  
"I haven't forgiven him for that," repeated Alex in confirmation. 

  
  
"Look," John started, "I know it's not exactly the same situation but my dad died about a year ago."

  
  
"I didn't know," Alex said, "You never said."

  
  
John shrugged, "It wasn't important enough to bother you with it."

  
  
"Of course it was," countered Alex, "You're my best friend."

  
  
"Look, that's not the point," John sighed, "The point is that the last time I talked with my father we argued. It was a bad argument, I said some things that I wish I hadn't. Alex," he paused and took Alex's hand between both of his, "I regretted that argument from the moment it was over and when I heard that my dad had died I regretted that we never made up. Thinking that he died resenting me...it's an awful feeling. And sure, your dad can't do anything to fix what he said or did during your childhood, but this could be your chance to get some closure."   
  


 

Alex pondered over what John was saying, he knew he was right

  
  
"I guess," Alex shrugged.

 

"I'm not saying that you have to go," John rushed to add, "just think about it, okay?"   
  


\----------

 

"Make sure you listen to your brother," Alex told his younger sons and daughter, "he's in charge while your mother and I are gone."

 

Jamie readily nodded but Jack began to pout, "Why do you have to go?" The eleven year old asked.

 

"I already explained this, Jacky," Alex said patiently, "My dad passed away. Your mom and I are going to his funeral."

  
  
"I know," Jack said, looking down at the floor and scuffing his foot, "but it's summer and we were gonna go swimming."

  
  
"There will be plenty of time for us to go swimming," chuckled Alex, "We'll only be gone for a couple days."

 

Jack sighed but allowed his father to ruffle his hair, "Besides, I'm sure if you can't wait then Angie will take you."   


 

  
Jack looked over at his older sister, "Of course," Angie smiled.

  
  
"Now I think your mother and I would like one more big goodbye hug before we go," Alex decided.

 

Jack was more than happy to comply, throwing his arms around Alex's waist. Of course that resulted in Alex and Eliza becoming the center of a gigantic Hamilton group hug.

 

"I'm going to miss you all so much," Alex sighed lingering for a moment before they broke apart.

  
  
"But we'd better get going if we want to catch our plane," Eliza noted.

 

Alex and Eliza managed to make it out the door with only a brief interruption when Lizzie looked close to crying, but she was soon calm and cuddled in Philip's arms. As they closed the front door and began walking down the hall Alex couldn't help but chuckle when he heard Angie asking who wanted pizza for dinner.    



	2. Chapter 2

It was a six mile drive from Henry H. Rohlsen Airport to the city of Christiansted. Alex was glad that Eliza had insisted on driving because he was being constantly and consistently thrown back into his past. He had only been on the path from Christiansted to the airport once--that fateful day he had flown away to New York, ready to start his life anew--but the simple fact of being on St. Croix was enough to bring the memories back.

 

While a lot had changed there was still a lot that hadn't and it sent chills down his spine as recognized these places. The street he took as a shortcut to get to school, the market where he accompanied his mother to get fresh fruit and vegetables.

 

And then they passed by  _ it _ and his breath caught in his throat. The shop. The shop where his mother had made her living before she had been so cruelly snatched away. Alex pressed his face to the car window like a child. It was different, of course, patched up and modernized with a fresh coat of pain, but it was still his mother's store. He blinked away the tears that pricked in the corners of his eyes, craning his neck to keep it in his sights for as long as possible.

 

"Alex?" Eliza spoke gently, "are you okay?"   
  
Alex quietly nodded and sat back as they drove to where they were staying for the duration of their stay.    
  
The B&B was another building that Alex remembered well. He and James would run errands for the proprietress sometimes when they wanted some money for sweets or to get extra cash for birthday gifts.    
  
Eliza put the car in park and they got out, the familiar salty tang immediately hitting Alex's nose, he had never expected to smell it again.

  
He'd missed that smell, Alex realized with a start, and he decided on the spot that he would bring the rest of the family to this island one day to share this feeling with all of them.    
  
"¡Hola! Entra por favor, please come in!"   
  
Alex couldn't believe it. He recognized that voice. It's couldn't be...but it was. She looked older now, of course she did, but it was still unmistakably Luz, the proprietress he remembered from his childhood.    
  
"¿Luz, eres tu?" Alex asked, "I can't believe it."   
  
Luz was obviously confused, her brow furrowed.    
  
"You probably don't remember me," said Alex, "but I used to run errands for you sometimes, you come to Mamí's store. Alex...Alexander Hamilton."   
  
Luz gasped, "Yo no lo creo, little Alejandro."   
  
She closed the space between them and pulled Alex into a bone-crushing hug.

 

"Who is this?" Luz took a step back to look at Eliza.   
  
"This is my wife, Eliza," Alex beamed taking her hand.

 

"Tal belleza," Luz complemented, pulling Eliza into a hug as well, "Come, I will show you to your room. ¡Ay! It is so lovely to see you again after so long, Alejandro."   
  


Alex smiled as he and Luz followed her inside, this looked almost exactly how he remembered it. The same artwork hanging in the front hall as you entered, the same worn rug at the bottom of the stairs just like it had been the day he had tripped and fallen when he and James were playing hide and seek.   
  
Luz gave Alex the key and led them upstairs.

 

Eliza listened passively as the other two chattered away in rapid Spanish. She didn't have the same ear for languages that Alex did, but she had picked up some things here and there over the years. This, however, was not the right context for her limited knowledge, so she allowed the melodic lilt of the language wash over her.

 

"I'm so happy to have you here Alejandro," Luz beamed, "you must join Luis and I for dinner."

 

"Claro está," Alex agreed.    
  
"Bueno," said Luz fondly, "I'll let you settle in."   
  
They said their goodbyes and Alex sank down onto the flowery comforter that covered the bed, letting out a long breath.    
  
"So you going to tell your brother you're here?" Eliza gently massaged his scalp.   
  
Alex let out an exasperated sigh as he turned to look at her.   
  
"Don't give me that look," Eliza fished into his pocket for his phone and tossed it to him, "call him."

 

Eliza continued to play gently with his hair, kind of like soothing an unhappy cat in her opinion, as Alex dialed his brother's number, his finger hovering above the call button and hesitating for a moment before he pressed it resolutely.    
  
It rung a few times before James picked up, "Hello?"   
  
"Hi James," Alex leaned against Eliza as he talked, "my flight just got in-"   
  
"You're here?" James sounded stunned.   
  
"I..." Alex heaved a sigh, "yes I'm here. Eliza...my wife and I are here in Christiansted."   
  
"That's, that's wonderful," said James, "I'm glad you decided to come. We could meet for coffee if you'd like. Just the two of us?"   
  
"Yeah," replied Alex, surprising himself slightly with how quickly he agreed, "Is there still that one bodega in town?"   
  
"I think so," James said thoughtfully, "It's been a few months since I was in Christiansted, but yeah I think so."   
  
"Great, meet you there in..." Alex looked at his watch, "twenty minutes?"   
  
"Sure," James replied.   
  


"Great," Alex said, "See you soon."   
  
He was about to hang up but brought the phone back to his ear when he heard James say his name.    
  
"Yeah?"    
  
"Just...just the two of us," requested James, "Okay?"   
  
"Okay."   
  
Alex hung up and pressed the phone against his chest, feeling the quick beating of his heart.

 

"Well?" Eliza asked.   
  
"We're going to coffee," Alex sighed.   
  
"You make it sound like it's the end of the world," Eliza teased.   
  
Alex groaned laying his head in her lap, "I can't do this Bets."   
  
"You can and you will," Eliza massaged the back of her neck, "would it help if I went with you?"   
  
Alex shook his head, "He wants it to be just the two of us."

 

"Okay," Eliza said gently, "I'm sure everything will be fine."   
  
"Well you know me," chuckled Alex, "I tend to get unduly stressed about things."   
  
"The first step is realizing that you have a problem," Eliza said solemnly.

 

"Are you really going to make me talk through this again?" Alex asked sitting up.   
  
"Only if you want to," Eliza replied.

 

Alex inhaled deeply, "No, I've got this," he replied.   
  
"Good," Eliza have his shoulder a gentle squeeze, “now at least wash your face, you smell like airplane.”

 

A few minutes later, face washed and hair freshly combed and pulled back, Alex set out. He let his muscle memory guide his steps, following the still-familiar streets of his childhood home until he got to the bodega. A man was standing there, hands in his pockets, looking about as nervous as Alex felt. His steps faltered when he realized that it was James. There were definitely features from his own face that he recognized on the man in front of him. Alex took a deep breath and approached.    
  
"James," he said tentatively.    
  
James looked at him for a moment, eyes widened and rocking slightly on his heels.    
  
"Alex."   
  
Then he found himself engulfed in a brief, but firm, hug. It lasted only a moment, barely long enough for Alex to return it before his brother stepped back, obviously slightly embarrassed.    
  


"I can't believe you're here..." James stuck his hands back in his pockets, "it's great to actually see you."   
  
"You too," answered Alex honestly, "Um, should we..."   
  
He gestured to the store and they entered. Once they'd purchased their coffee, the two brothers returned outside and sat at one of the mismatched tables. Despite the heat and humidity, the coffee was refreshing in the way that the big chain coffee shops could never achieve.    
  
The two of them sat there drinking their coffees for a moment without saying a word, Alex mostly was unsure of where to begin.   
  
"So..."

 

"This is a little awkward," James took another sip, "but we really need to talk, I want to talk..."   
  
"So let's talk," Alex nodded.

 

"You seem to be doing well for yourself," James said, "Running the treasury and all that."   
  
"Yeah," replied Alex, "It's pretty amazing. I never would have thought that I'd get to the White House of all places."

 

"Mamí would be proud," James added.   
  
"Mhmm," Alex thought about her fondly, she had always striven for her boys to do great things, "and what about you?"

 

"I'm living over in Frederiksted," James replied, "And I run a contracting company."   
  
"So, houses and such," said Alex.

 

"Yeah," James nodded, "and I'm married-"

 

"Well there is a surprise," Alex couldn't help but tease a little bit.

 

James let out a laugh, "Oh, hush. What about you?"   
  
"Married," confirmed Alex, "Happily."   
  
"You two should come over to Frederiksted for dinner tomorrow night," James offered.

 

"Okay," Alex replied, "I'm sure Eliza would love to."

 

"Great," James nodded.   
  
The two of them talked for a while longer, long enough Alex decided he needed another coffee.   
  
"You certainly like your coffee," James noted.   
  
"I practically live on it," Alex replied, "just do me a favor and don't tell my wife I had more than one."

 

James laughed, "Deal."

 

\----------

 

Once again Alex had Eliza take the wheel as they drove the Fredricksted to his brother's house. And while he was still a little nervous Alex didn't struggle with going up to the door and knocking, well at least not that much.   
  


It was opened by a girl who seemed to be around Angie's age who looked them over briefly then smiled.    
  
"Hi!" she chirped, "You're my Uncle Alex, then."   
  
Alex was slightly taken aback by her enthusiasm, but managed a smile of his own.    
  
"I suppose so."

 

"I'm Courtney," she held out her hand to Alex and shook his,"come on in."   
  
The house was cozy, nicely decorated with art and family photos. Alex almost tripped over his own feet when he saw the old picture of their mother, back when she could still get her hair coiffed and pay for professional photos. James was four, staring unhappily at the camera, and Alex was just turned one and sitting laughing on his mother's knee. 

 

Their mother had always been a very proud woman, she had not grown up poor by any means, her father had been a prominent doctor in Nevis the Faucettes were well known.    
  


"You look just like AJ at that age," Eliza whispered to him.   
  
Alex gave the picture one more glance and realized that indeed Eliza was correct, having not seen the photo in years he had not realized the similarity between himself and his son.

 

"Great picture, isn't it?" James said, appearing at Alex's elbow, "I have another copy somewhere if you want it."   
  
Alex swallowed and looked away from the photo, smiling at his brother, "I'd like that."   
  
James nodded, "Okay. Come on, Mary is dying to meet you and if we delay dinner any more I think that Courtney might stage a coup."   
  
"I know what that's like," Alex laughed, his four eldest were teenagers or the case of Philip had just turned twenty.

 

Mary was setting the table when they entered the kitchen/dining room and introductions were briefly made before everyone took a seat.    
  
"So Courtney," Eliza asked, "How old are you?"

 

"I'm seventeen," Courtney replied swiftly, "I'm about to be a senior in high school."   
  


"Our daughter Angie just finished her senior year," Eliza said, "She'll be heading off to Boston in the fall. And our eldest Philip is going into his junior year at Columbia."   
  
"So is it just Philip and Angie?" James asked.    
  
"Ah, no," Alex replied, "We have seven."   
  
He put down his knife and fork before reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet. He handed it over to James and recited names as he flipped through it.    
  
"There's Philip at a campus poetry reading, his roommate sent this photo to us," Alex said, "Angie with her piano. That's AJ, which is a nickname for Alexander Junior."    
  
He paused for a moment at the next picture, "Jamie. It's short for James. We named him after you and dad, actually."   
  
James quirked a small smile.    
  
"Next we have John, but we call him Jack. And there are the youngest two, William and Lizzie."

 

James flipped through some of Alex's other photos, "Impressive, your house sounds like it's quite the lively space," he chuckled.   
  
"That's putting it mildly," Eliza confirmed with a smile, "Noisy is an understatement."   
  
"I can only imagine," James said.    
  
"You should come to DC and meet them some time," Alex began to smile.   
  
"We'd love to," answered Mary, "Courtney's never been to the mainland before."   
  
"We'd be more than happy to have you," Eliza smiled.   
  
\----------   
  
When dinner came to an end Eliza had offered to help Mary and Courtney clean up while giving Alex a look that clearly read "talk to your brother.”

 

The two brothers went to the James' study and he poured them each a couple fingers of scotch.    
  
"So," James said, "I feel like our wives want us to talk about dad."   
  


"You would be correct," Alex sighed taking a glass, "although Eliza is usually a little more subtle about things like this."   
  
James laughed, "I like Eliza, still can't figure out why she married you," he shrugged, "but she has obviously done a lot of good for you."

 

"I'm lucky to have her in my life," agreed Alex, "Mary's delightful, by the way, if we're talking about luck."   
  
James raised his glass in salute.   
  


Alex took a sip, the burn sending small tingles down his spine, "So dad," he sighed and set his glass down.

 

"Dad," James repeated, "You didn't see him for a while, did you?"   
  
"Not since he left when I was ten," said Alex slightly stiffly.

 

"Every once in awhile," James replied, "He was on Nevis for a while, but he moved back here for the last two years of his life."   
  
  
"And..." Alex inhaled, "I dunno what was we like when you saw him?"   
  
"Well," James said slowly, "the last years weren't great. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about three years ago and it got really bad the last two years, that's why we moved him back to St. Croix. There was nobody willing to take care of him on Nevis."   
  
Alex nodded, gesturing silently for James to continue.    
  
"Before that...I'll admit that it was a bit strange. He didn't seem to know what to say to me."   
  


Alex couldn't help it scoff a little at that, "Did he ever talk about leaving? Like why he left?"   
  


James sighed, "I never could get a straight answer out of him about it. He would just say something about it being too much and needing to get away."   
  
"Delightful," mumbled Alex, "glad to know we were such a burden."   
  
He carefully ignored the feeling deep in his gut that reminded him he had done much the same with his and John's relationship, the same feeling that always made him worry that he would do the same to Eliza and the children even all these years later. It was why Alex had quietly promised himself and and infant Philip that he wouldn't, and the same for every child after.    
  
"He did talk about you sometimes," James added.

 

"He could have called," said Alex, "He could have written. I would've," he swallowed, realizing that he'd started to raise his voice and finished more quietly, "I would've answered. Probably."

 

"He was proud of you," James told him, "not that he was particularly interested in politics but when you were on the news he'd smile."

 

Alex couldn't figure out how to respond and simply took a large sip of his drink, eyes downcast.

 

"You know I used to wonder what it would be like if dad hadn't left," Alex mused, "and if Mamí hadn't died... I mean I might have never even left St. Croix-"   
  
"No you would have left," James spoke up, "I think no matter what you would have left, you were always so smart... There wasn't thing for you here."

 

Alex huffed a laugh, "You're right. This island is too small for me, I would drive the whole population mad soon enough. Assuming I didn't go mad first. I just...I wish it could have been different. Not that our life wasn't good all things considered, but I could have done without the abandonment, without the illness, without Peter..."   
  
Alex couldn't go on. He hadn't slept for quite some time after witnessing his cousin's suicide and he didn't care to relive it now or ever again.    
  
"I'm sorry for leaving when I did," James said softly.    
  
"You also would have left at some point anyway," Alex replied.    
  
"True," allowed James, "but the timing could have been a bit better."

 

"No shit," Alex snorted.

 

\----------

 

The suit he's wearing is his favorite, a Mulligan original made to fit perfectly. In the humidity and heat, it's stifling, the tie and collar of his shirt constricting around his throat.    
  


He felt Eliza take his hand and offer him a comforting smile looking beautiful as always, "You're going to be fine," she assured him.

 

Alex couldn't quite manage a smile back, but he squeezed her hand and took a deep breath before stepping into the church. It was even more stifling inside, not just because of the enclosed space or the fact that he hadn't been inside a church in years, but because of the faces he didn't recognize looking back at him. They were all paler than him and it was not difficult to conclude that this was at least part of James Sr.'s Scottish family. Alex had always known that he was part Scottish, but it was strange to see that part of his background staring him in the face.    
  


They seemed to start murmuring and whispering as he walked past to take a seat on one of the pews.   
  
"Don't let them get to you," Eliza spoke in a low tone.   
  
It was then that Alex remembered his wife had faced a similar situation with her biological family many years before. He took another deep breath and allowed his shoulders to fall back and his head to lift slightly, the pose he took when he was making important presentations to the Cabinet or facing a gaggle of reporters. Alex and Eliza made their way past the too-white faces to the front pew where James, Mary, and Courtney sat.    
  


Throwing one more glance that way it seemed silly but he couldn't help but muse that perhaps that was where Philip's freckles came from.   
  
There was a little shuffling in their seats as they got situated and Alex took a seat and took Eliza's hand.   
  
The service began and Alex was only vaguely aware of what was happening around him. The only other funerals he'd attend were both Peter's and his mother's right in this very church, once again being officiated by Reverend Hugh Knox.   
  


Alex wondered whether Reverend Knox remembered him, he certainly had grown up a lot since the Reverend had helped him leave the island. His mind wandered slightly during the sermon, although it didn't wander very far and settled on his father. The casket was closed, but Alex was very aware of the fact that his father's body lay inside.

 

"Robert Hamilton would like to say few words about his brother-"   
  
At that Alex turner to see a man who looked like his father walking forward. Despite being aided by a cane he still conjured up a strong and foreboding image.   
  
"Thank you, Reverend," Robert said, his Scottish brogue strong but still understandable. My brother James was always a quiet child, which is difficult to imagine considering that he turned into quite an...opinionated adult." Robert inhaled before continuing, "My brother grew up with me and the rest of our siblings on the family estate before coming to this... Colorful island."   
  
Alex couldn't help but roll his eyes at his uncle's obvious distaste for the place.

 

"I'll admit that I never understood his reasons for leaving the estate," Robert half-grumbled.    
  
This wasn't something that Alex needed to hear. The disgust in Robert's voice was not hidden in the slightest and Alex was already working hard to not let himself sink back into the hatred he had felt for his father for many years.

 

He was soothed by the feeling of Eliza massaging small circles into the back of his hand, letting out a sigh Alex looked over to his wife and couldn't help but smile at the slightly stern expression on her face. It was if she wanted to scold Robert for what he was saying the way she would one if their children or one of her students.

 

"We'd always hoped that he would come home to us," Robert was saying, "Although when he wrote to say that he had taken up with...that woman we knew that he had made some kind of life for himself."   
  
Alex felt his spine stiffen slightly. He could take some of spite aimed towards his father, but the thinly veiled insults against Rachel he could not let slide. Alex furrowed his brow as Robert continued.   
  
"It was no longer just one of James little indiscretions-" Robert added.   
  
"An indiscretion?" Alex got to his feet, "How dare you call my family a 'little indiscretion!'"

 

Robert immediately stopped speaking and turned to glare at Alex, "Excuse me?"   
  
"You heard me," Alex replied, "don't act like you didn't."

 

"And you are?" Robert asked, as if he didn't know.    
  
"Alexander Hamilton," Alex replied firmly, "and I believe that I would like to speak about my father now."

 

Robert gave Alex a look as if he was daring him, so Alex got out of the pew and went to stand beside Robert, "I can take this from here."

 

Robert seemed about to argue, but instead he frowned deeply.    
  
"Insulting my mother," Alex said, still speaking directly to Robert, "your brother's wife, at his funeral and in front of his children, not to mention his granddaughter? I don't wonder why he wanted to leave Scotland when he did."   
  
"You put him on a pedestal," Robert said, "just because he had the decency to marry that woman after she got pregnant."   
  
Alex couldn't help but let out a short, sharp laugh, "I am the last person in the world who would put James Hamilton Sr. on a pedestal."

 

Robert raised his brow.   
  
"For the longest time I hated my father," Alex explained, "for a number of things, especially for leaving us, I didn't even want to come here."

 

"A very good friend of mine," Alex continued, ignoring the hint of smugness that was threatening to spread across Robert's features, "told me that if I didn't come then I would regret it. And you know what? He was right. My father may not have always made the best choices, but I have no doubt that he was a good man just as I have no doubt that most of your don't believe that."

 

Alex took a moment before continuing, "I don't hate him anymore, and while his leaving us hurt so much, I can't help but think it helped bring me to where I am today-" he spotted Eliza, the stern look she'd reserved for Robert had turned to pride, love and affection for Alex.

 

"I wish..." Alex swallowed and let out a breath, feeling the emotion welling in his throat, "I just wish that I could have known him more. I wish that I had thought to reach out to him rather than stewing in my resentment all these years later," Alex sighed, "I've learned to forgive but it's too late for that," he shot one more look to Robert, "maybe you should try it out... Forgiveness."

 

"We came here to honor the life of James Hamilton," Alex concluded, "So why don't we honor him instead of insulting his memory."   
  
He gave a sharp nod and made his way back to the pew where Eliza pressed a kiss to his cheek. Robert adjusted the cuffs on his jacket before returning to his seat as Reverend Knox returned and beamed at Alex.

 

"Thank you, Alexander," the Reverend said, "To conclude the service, please turn to Psalm..."   
  
Alex drifted away into introspection again, unconsciously singing softly along with the rest of the attendants.

 

As they were leaving Alex and Eliza were stopped on their way out by yet another Scottish relative. Alex bristled ready to defend his family once again.

 

The other man seemed to sense this and offered a kind smile.    
  
"I'm sorry for my brother," he said, "He's never really been one for tact, but it's gotten worse in his later years. Sandy," he introduced, extending a hand, "short for Alexander."   
  
"Alex," replied Alex with slight surprise, "also short for Alexander."

 

Sandy smiled, "I guess my brother tolerated me enough to name his son after me."

 

"I suppose so," Alex said with a light chuckle.    
  
"For what it's worth, I'm glad you decided to come," Sandy told him, "I've resented myself for years for allowing my parents and older brothers to poison my mind against James after he left."

 

"I can't believe any family could do that," Alex sighed.   
  
"But they did," Sandy nodded, "my family has the title and the snobbery to go with it."   
  
Alex smiled a little bit at that, "I don't remember father being anything like that-"   
  
"That's because he wasn't," Sandy laughed, "my mother, your grandmother would be nearly in tears over how crazy James made her."

 

"Sounds like AJ," Eliza put in with a small laugh.    
  
"Our third child," Alex explained, "can be a bit of a menace."

 

Sandy chuckled a little, "if you don't mind my asking third out of how many?"   
  
"Seven," Eliza replied, "I'm his wife Eliza by the way."   
  
"Eliza?" Sandy furrowed his brow, "that wouldn't happen to be short for Elizabeth would it?"

 

"Yes it is," Eliza answered curiously, "Why do you ask?"   
  
"It's rather funny, I suppose," said Sandy, "My mother was also named Elizabeth."

 

Eliza smiled, "It's funny how things like that happen.”

 

\----------

 

The solicitor's office was almost as stuffy as the church, particularly since he was now in much closer quarters with the Scottish Hamiltons. Other than Robert and Sandy, James Sr.'s younger brother was also present. At least he had James by his side.

 

The lawyer lay out the folder containing James Sr.'s will, his brother had mentioned that apparently has father left him something. Whatever it was he couldn't possibly imagine.

 

"Thank you all for coming," the lawyer said, "I’m sorry for your loss."   
  
There was a general murmur of acknowledgement from those present. Alex clenched his hands into fists on his knees.

 

"I James Hamilton, being of sound body and mind leave this as my last will and testament."   
  
Alex hadn't expected his father really to leave much of anything behind for anyone present in this room.   
  
"Any financial assets that remain are to go to my sons James and Alexander, divided equally between them."   
  
There was a scoff from Robert's general direction, but Alex didn't care because the lawyer was speaking of him again.    
  
"To my younger son Alexander I leave Perrito."   
  
The lawyer pulled out a small box and handed it to Alex. He lifted the lid and nearly gasped, his eyes prickling with sudden tears. When he had been very young, maybe even before he was born, Rachel had sewn a small stuffed dog out of fabric scraps. As a child, Alex had been unable to sleep without Perrito by his side. He had stopped sleeping with the stuffed toy at around age eight, partially because he had felt too old for the safety blanket and partially because Perrito had been patched up so many times that it was practically falling apart. He had tried looking for Perrito when he and his mother had started getting sick, desperate for the comfort the stuffed dog provided, but had been unable to find it. At the time he had been heartbroken.    
  
It made sense now, and seeing his beloved dog once again after all these years the tears began to fall from his eyes. Alex sniffled and gingerly lifted Perrito from his box and held him close not caring how anyone would perceive his actions in this moment. It was a connection to his mother, a woman he missed deeply. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath he was almost certain he could smell the faintest trace of her perfume lingering there.   
  
He let out a shuddering breath, allowing his attention to drift back to the lawyer.    
  
"To my eldest son James I leave this pocket watch."   
  
There was an actual commotion at that, Robert shooting to his feet with a noise of outrage.    
  
"That is a family heirloom!" he boomed, "He had no right!"

 

"Actually he did," Sandy spoke up, "it was his watch and James is his son."

 

"But!"   
  
"And James was just following the tradition by passing it down to his son the way Pa passed it down to him," Sandy continued, "he's continuing with tradition-"   
  
"They are not our family," Robert glared.   
  
"Yes they are," Sandy replied sternly, "they are our family and you need to accept it, Robert, James is dead don't you think it's only right we make amends?"

 

Robert remained sour-faced and unmoved.    
  
"It's okay," James said, shaking his head.    
  
"Stubbornness must run in the Hamilton genes," added Alex, staring down his uncle, "At least I know where I got it from. In any case, family is more than just sharing blood. I learned a long time ago that the best family is often the one you choose for yourself."

 

Alex couldn't help but think back to how alone he'd been when he first arrived in New York, how alone he'd been. But he'd quickly found people who loved and cared about him and continued to do so. So while it seemed most of the Scottish Hamilton's still rejected him and his brother he found comfort in knowing he had the love of his wife, his children, his friends, and once again his brother.

 

When the will reading was done, they emerged again into the heat of the day. As promised, Eliza was waiting for him on a shady bench in front of the courthouse building. Alex said his goodbyes to James and Sandy, deftly ignored the glares of his other relatives, and made his way over to his wife. She was talking to someone, a man who seemed awfully familiar.    
  
"Ned?"

 

The man turned to look at him and grinned, "There he is!" he went to embrace Alex, "I have been having a wonderful conversation with woman you claim is your wife," he teased.

 

"It's been who knows how many years since we've seen each other and this is how you choose to greet me?" Alex chuckled, returning the hug, "You have no class."

 

"That's what I'm known for," Ned grinned, "I have the worst bedside manner on the island, I think I must have skipped class on that day."

 

"And to think, you won an award for perfect attendance in middle school," sighed Alex, "Obviously being a doctor isn't good for you."

 

"Except that besides all of my flaws I did graduate top of my class," Ned grinned, "just like you did I bet."

 

"Well..." Alex said, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish grin.    
  
"Valedictorian," Eliza put in proudly, slipping in next to Alex and taking his hand, "What's in the box?"   
  
Alex had almost forgotten about the small cardboard box containing Perrito and an envelope with his name written on it in his father's looping cursive.

 

Alex began to blush a little, "Oh it's something my mother made for me when I was a baby... I thought that I had lost it but my dad had it-"   
  
"Perrito?" Ned asked.   
  
"Yeah," Alex nodded, "you remember that?"   
  
"Of course I do," Ned let out a small laugh, "you took him with you everywhere, we had many adventures with Perrito."

 

Alex laughed, "The third Musketeer. Yeah, apparently my dad took it with him when he left. A memento, you know? That's what he said in his note."   
  


"Can I see him?" Eliza asked looking at the box.   
  
Alex removed the lid and let Eliza look at her old companion.   
  
"That's very cute," Eliza smiled, " he appears to have been well loved-"   
  
"Oh and my dad also left me this," Alex removed a long silver chain from the envelope containing his father's letter.   
  


Hanging on the chain was a simple, heavy silver cross.    
  
"It was Mamí's favorite. I don't know how he got it, I thought she was buried with it. And I know we aren't all that religious," Alex said, holding it out to his wife, "but I want you to have it.   
  
Her eyes shining, Eliza turned so that Alex could close the clasp of the necklace. The cross hung just below the collar of her shirt and sat comfortably against her sternum.    
  
"I love it," she whispered, drawing him into a hug. Alex felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes again and he squeezed them shut, resting his forehead against her shoulder.    
  
"Thank you," Eliza added quietly, running her fingers through his hair.

 

After a moment, Alex pulled away.    
  
"Sorry about that Ned," he sniffled, brushing the tears from his cheeks.    
  
"No big deal," replied Ned, clapping a hand on Alex's shoulder, "How long are you on the island for?"   
  
"We leave tomorrow morning," Alex told him.    
  
"Alright then. Dinner's on me."

 

\----------

 

Alex had never been so happy to pull into the driveway at their house, to see Philip's beat up station wagon with the bumper littered with literary puns. He didn't regret going to the funeral, not at all, but it was definitely good to be home.

 

Alex reached for the door and turned the key with a satisfying click. At that he could already hear the commotion the their kids inside.

 

When the door opened, they were hit with the sight of all seven kids clustered together in the entrance way.    
  
"Welcome home!"   
  
To their credit, the kids did attempt to speak all at once, but it didn't quite turn out that way.

 

"We made this," Jack came forward holding several sheets of printer paper that had been taped together.   
  
Eliza let out a small laugh as she walked inside and was immediately enveloped in a hug by Angie, "That was very sweet of you all."

 

"Daddy, Daddy!" William called out, running over to Alex.    
  
Alex laughed and hoisted William into his arms, pressing a kiss to his nose.

 

"I love you all so much," Alex beamed, "you know that right?"   
  
"Of course we do," Angie then transferred her hugging to her father.

 

"Just checking," teased Alex.

 

Angie giggled as Alex gently squeezed her shoulder before she went to stand beside Philip. Alex let out a deep sigh, once again he was back with his family and everything seemed right with the world.   
  
"Mama can we get pizza for dinner?" Angie asked.   
  
"Didn't you have pizza when we left?" Eliza asked incredulously.   
  
"Maybe?" Angie replied innocently.

 

"Yes we did!" insisted Lizzie, tugging on the hem of Angie's shirt, "We did have pizza. Not maybe."

 

"I think you've been caught this time Angel," Eliza smiled fondly.

 

Angie giggled again, brushing Lizzie's hair from her eyes.    
  
"She keeps me honest," Angie sighed, grinning.

 

"That's what sisters are for," Eliza replied, "now we could order from that Mexican place you like."   
  
"Seriously?" Angie blinked.    
  
"Sweetie you're crazy if you think I'm cooking anything tonight," Eliza laughed.   
  
"Yes!" Angie exclaimed and soon she and her siblings dispersed throughout the house.   
  
"Why Betsey this is unexpected," Alex smiled.   
  
"Would you like to cook tonight?" Eliza raised her brow.

 

"Mexican is good," said Alex, "There's nothing like Mexican food after a long week."

 

"Exactly," Eliza smiled kissing his cheek, "I knew you would understand."

 

Eliza started ushering the kids towards the living room so that she could figure out their food order. William started wriggling in Alex's arms so he put the boy down and brought their small suitcases to his and Eliza's bedroom. He opened his case and drew out a flat, newspaper-wrapped package. He carefully unwrapped the newspaper to reveal a picture frame. He'd bought it from a craftsman in Christiansted while they'd been out for dinner with Ned. It was an ornate lattice of wood and metal, expertly hand made. Inside the frame was a copy of the picture he had seen in James' home of the two of them with their mother.

 

Returning to down the stairs to his office with the frame in hand Alex paused for a moment before deciding to set it next to a picture of him and Eliza from when they had just started dating.

 

He gently brushed his finger over the glass that covered his mother's face, his lips quirking in a sad smile.    
  
"Dad! We're ordering food!"   
  
"I'll be right there," Alex called back.    
  
He heaved a sigh and turned to leave his office, casting once more glance at the photograph before turning off the light.

 

**Author's Note:**

> We have taken a lot of artistic license with this, and we did try and piece some info together based on canon but liberties were most definitely taken.


End file.
